Our mothers always told us that we need to find ourselves a strong man. While some think about a physically strong man, your mom probably didn’t mean it like that. Okay, of course, she wanted you to be with a guy who has a little muscle, but she really wanted you to be a guy who’s mentally strong and independent.
A man who can fight for his own and isn’t going to be the child in the relationship. Right now, you have your boyfriend. You’re in a loving relationship, but you think what your mom told you. Does your boyfriend match?
You want a partner, not a man-child, so brush up and learn the signs of a weak man in a relationship.
1. You’ve become a nag. He’s made you into someone you swore you’d never be: a nag. You never were a nag before, but since you started dating him, you find yourself nagging more and more.
The thing is, you can’t help yourself. You need to constantly ask him to do things or remind him of what he has to do and then you wait for him to actually do it. If you’re feeling like a parent to your partner, that’s not how it’s supposed to work.
2. You clean up after him. He leaves his clothes lying around or has food wrappers everywhere, but the thing is, though he can clean up his own mess, he doesn’t. Instead, he waits for you to do it. You clean up after him in more than a physical sense. If he has unpaid bills or needs an excuse to bail an event, you’re the one doing his dirty work. It’s like he’s a giant baby.
3. He has “high-school” interests and friendships. When he hangs out with his friends, it’s literally like he’s in high school again, and not in a good way. He abuses alcohol or drugs, gets himself in trouble with people and just does stupid things. Let’s just say in a nice way, he never grew up. How can you have a serious conversation with someone who doesn’t know when enough is enough?
4. He can’t handle “the future” conversations. You want to know what’s going to happen with the relationship, and you’re at that phase where you want to push things forward but the minute you bring up children or marriage, he freaks out.
You actually see the panic in his eyes and his brain calculating what he should do. If you mention the things that are involved in raising a child, well, you gave him a heart attack. If he doesn’t pick up after himself, how will he be able to change a diaper?
5. He doesn’t listen. I think this is a given. If you’re already nagging him, it’s clear that he’s a selective listener and is choosing not to hear you. But on top of that, he’s also choosing not to respect you. A strong man will listen to their partner. This doesn’t mean they’re going to agree, but they’re going to listen to what their partner has to say and go from there.
6. He doesn’t stand up for you. Whether it’s his friends who are verbally-bashing you or some random guy at a bar, he doesn’t stand up for you. Of course, you’re able to handle yourself, but this is your partner. They’re supposed to be your support system. A weak man will ignore it because he doesn’t want to get involved or will join the others and tease you. But that isn’t a real man at all.
7. You don’t discuss serious topics. The topics don’t have to revolve around you and him, either way, he doesn’t know how to engage in a serious topic. But, if the topic is about you and him, that’s when he really pulls back. He’s not into confrontation, so, he’ll dodge the conversation and try to pin it on you instead. So much for dealing with the issue head-on.