Why the love statements are given by the most unloved and harsh people like the renowned singer John Lennon sang a song in late 60s, “All you need is Love” but in reality in the beaten both of his wives, abandoned one of his kids and also abused one of his Jewish manager.
Years later a singer Trent Reznor, wrote a song, Love is not enough, though our interpretation about this singer can be that he is bit atheist in case of love, you know he is NOT, he is the most lovable person for his family. Despite being famous, he is away from alcohol and drugs,married a single woman and had two children with her. In order to stay with his family he cancelled his tours and albums to be his family..
Endearing personality indeed ..
How we Love?
We idolize and the problem lies there, we see the movie and read stories and feel this is love i.e. cuddling and spending those precious moments and becoming exact replica of John Lennon song, “All you need is love “but forget the real reason of respecting each other, caring, support, commitment.
But our whole circle runs around idolizing for those romantic movies or novels and forgets the real sense of being in love and develops unrealistic expectation and that leads to downfall.Love is more than emotion or passion but it lies on more important values. A successful relationship has some unlying trust and commitment.
Often the love is sabotaged by unrealistic expectation and three bitter truths about love are:
1. Love does not mean Equality
Love is an emotional process but when we talk about compatibility it is logical process.
See, is it possible to fell in love with someone who does not:
- Don’t treat us well
- Make us feel worse
- Make us feel anxious
- Never stood by our fears
- Insults in public
- Contradictory life ambitions
- Never brings happiness when he or she is around, a feeling of fear engulfs our mind ,body and soul.
This may sound paranoid but this is true. You have to see this bitter truth of your so called loved one.
The instant spark is a nuclear explosion in the later half where both are running after other or one is tormented enough to look forward in life.
The so called LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT is a gone story, trust you’re reasoning because when you break it is often bitter and tearful. Both the sides suffer damage, emotionally and mentally.
When you fall in love, look for your mind which is dancing away on the songs of heart .. Take it in place and be logical about it.
2. Love does not solve your current Relationship Problems
I am in love, yes I am in love and I started a relationship but we lived cities apart, penniless, families against. We fought daily, our emotional breakouts were initially in the home then it was public.
We fought, we bled but made up fast as it was LOVE between us and a thought love conquers all but in reality nothing has changed, relationship never change your existing problems rather they add to it.
Unsurprisingly, the relationship broke and it was an ugly as all sort of mud was spattered on each other.
The mere of starting a relationship was WE WILL MAKE IT HAPPEN although we have no support, no money but failed miserably.
The relationship goals were intersecting the love and the foundation of it was that this will solve all the problems but it was not correct.
Before starting the relationship have a strong foundation and practical emotions. The roller coaster of emotions are sometimes intoxicating, feel free and you will see that this emotional tide will come and wash away.
But if don’t control your emotions, IT WILL WASH YOU AWAY.
3. WORTH A SACRIFICE
Don’t try to become Joan of Arc in love.
What you are sacrificing, your family, happiness, sanity, self-respect, dignity,desires and much more.
IS IT WORTH
The answer is NO, a BIG NO.
One of the most common sacrifice one sees in the loving relationship is desires, needs and times for one another.
A true love will add to your self-respect and dignity without lowering you or tarnishing your emotions.
One, who tarnishes it, is not true love but it is a toxic relationship. If not paid heed at time it will lead us to the shell which is depression and anxiety.