Anxiety about a relationship can rear its head in many ways, including always being concerned with monitoring your partner’s phone, habitually checking their email and social media accounts, regularly checking in to know where they are and what they’re doing, feeling the need to test your partner in order to make them prove their love to you, or constantly jumping to conclusions and accusing them of wrong doing.
It’s not always easy to get a guy to open up. Many guys guard their emotions more closely than girls. But when they do share, you get to see a whole new side of them you’ve never seen before. One of the easiest ways to get to know someone is by asking them questions. Once you’ve covered the basics through small talk, you can dive deeper and ask more personal questions.
1. Realise you are doing what’s best.
You’ve likely been putting your crush on a pedestal. Now that you’re ready to move on, start to take a deeper look at the person you’re infatuated with. Maybe this person has many wonderful qualities about them, but sometimes we can become blinded by those things and can forget to take the time to realize that they aren’t as good for us as we have dreamed them up to be. You deserve someone who’s into you as much as you’re into them. Remember that.
Lower your expectations, just a little bit.
This doesn’t mean that you should lower your general expectations of him as a decent partner—it means that you should lower them when it comes to emotional matters. As your boyfriend, he should be there for you regardless of the issue. But if he’s short with words or doesn’t talk about his feelings much, you need to realize this may be a part of who he is. This is a key part of his personality that’s hard to change. It might get easier when the two of you put more mileage into the relationship, but it’ll never come naturally to him. If that’s a dealbreaker for you, that’s okay. But, expecting things to be different or trying to get him to change will end up leaving you more hurt than ever.
Even though it’s the preferred method of communication these days, texting can be pretty nerve-wracking. Sure, it’s an easy way to communicate with people, but because there’s no strict set of rules or agreed upon etiquette it’s often hard to get right.
1. Respect. Respect is the aspect of every single relationship *romantic or not* that makes things work. Without respect, a relationship cannot last. Although this should be a non-negotiable for everyone, it can be a hard thing to admit to yourself.
Eye contact is key
You can tell so much about a person and a situation by paying attention to eye contact. We know that we are supposed to hold eye contact in a job interview, and when you’re meeting a new person, and when your friend is talking to you, and as much as possible on a first date. But it’s even bigger than that. If you are in a group of people, if you pay attention to who is looking at you — making that eye contact — a lot, you may be onto something. Eye contact really is key when it comes to deciphering whether or not sexual tension is heating up. Do you keep catching that cutie across the bar looking at you? Does he not break eye contact when you catch his? That’s a great sign.
1. Hear them. Before you can listen, you have to be aware that your partner is talking to you. If you are busy and you hear them talking to you, stop what you are doing and talk to them. If you can’t do that, tell them that you will be with them shortly. Miscommunication happens when a person is too wrapped up in what they are doing and then fail to realise that their partner is talking to them.
1. They will always be honest. You may think all friends or at least all good friends are honest. But that isn’t always the case. A blunt person, however, will always be honest even brutally so if need be.
1. They’re expert text decoders. Women often try to interpret the seemingly straightforward but possibly subtly cryptic texts they get from guys. Why isn’t there a smiley face? Why did he say “hey there” instead of just “hi”? Why did he take three hours to respond to your text? Your girlfriends can be speculating about all sorts of scenarios and hidden meanings behind these texts.