Keep in mind these cell phone rules are only stepping stones. Once you follow these rules for a while and have earned each other’s trust, you should be able to stop enforcing these cell phone rules. Let trust guide the relationship. But to start, here are my top cell phone rules every couple has to follow.
1. Talk about your past. People who have never had trust issues may not see the need for cell phone rules. Your partner may not understand why you need access to their phone. But talking about your past can help open their eyes to your perspective.
Let your partner know it isn’t them you don’t trust. You have lingering issues from the past, and cell phone rules will help you move forward. If they truly care about you, they will agree and understand your side.
2. Leave your phone out. If you are with your partner and head to the bathroom with your cell phone, it can seem sketchy. Instead, learn to leave your phones out around each other.
If you both have nothing to hide, you should be completely comfortable with anything that might pop up in notifications. And having that openness will give you both peace of mind.
3. Check in. When you’re not together, check in with each other. It can be a simple, “I’m thinking about you,” message midday. Just sending something over keeps you connected when you’re apart.
4. Tell your partner the truth. Some people think the truth is overrated. You may wonder what the benefits of telling your partner that your ex texted you are. But telling them yourself now is much better than them finding out you kept it from them later.
You may have done nothing wrong, but keeping a secret no matter how innocent can place a seed of doubt in their mind. So even if you think it isn’t a big deal, look at the situation from their perspective.
5. Think before you delete. Deleting photos of your ex when you start dating someone new is perfectly fine, even good. But if you are deleting your search history, messages from a “close friend,” or anything else, think about why this needs deleting.
You are deleting proof of something you feel guilty about. But why did you do something you would have to delete in the first place?
6. Can you answer each other’s phones? This is something you and your partner have to discuss yourselves. Personally, I think full access removes any questions, but if you use your phone for business, this may not be an option.
Discuss how allowing each other this access would benefit your relationship.
7. Should you share passcodes? The same goes for sharing passcodes. This is something you should agree upon. But, it can be a sign of complete trust. It shows that you are not at all worried that your partner will find something on your phone and neither are they.