Relationships always require work, even from the beginning stages where it feels giddy and effortless, you still make sure to impress someone and fight to keep them. Then, when you get more comfortable the effort required takes a different turn. You must find new ways to excite one another, remain interested in one another, and stay attracted. If you don’t feel that same connection, here are some steps for how to make your husband love you again.
It’s no wonder many marriages end up in trouble simply because the couple stopped making an effort. Living with someone for years and feeling completely comfortable with them is wonderful. But often you begin to take one another for granted. Conversation which used to carry on excitedly for hours, sharing interests, passions and dreams, is now no more than talking about what to cook for dinner or arguments about whose turn it is to take the trash out.
1. Stop nagging him. It may be that you don’t even realize you are doing it, but now is the time to step back and really look at your own behavior and how you act towards your husband. Maybe you get frustrated when he doesn’t make an effort. For example, leaving all the housework to you. But when you talk to him about this, are you doing it in the right way?
If all you talk about is him doing the washing up, cleaning the bathroom, spending more time with friends than with you, never paying attention to you, being out of shape, not getting that promotion, and so on it’s no wonder that he just wants a break from it all, and so begins to close off and distance himself.
2. Be strong—but not dramatic. If you’ve been letting your husband get away with murder he’ll start to lose respect for you and this can turn the relationship cold very quickly. By all means, stand up for yourself in arguments and talk through your problems. However, do this in a reasonable way, and always allow him to talk, try to see things from his point of view, and be prepared to compromise.
If you keep throwing a massive hissy fit when you disagree with him, he’ll soon find this tiring and close himself off from you. Bursting into tears doesn’t help either. Strong, independent women are the most attractive to men, so remember this and don’t be a doormat, but don’t be hysterical either.
3. Be more than just a mom. If you have kids, it’s understandable to find that your relationship often gets pushed to the back burner. The problem is if this continues for too long your man is going to feel hurt and left out, and start to find his own things to do such as going out with friends. Looking after your children should be a priority, but so should your marriage.
Make sure that you make time for your husband. You need “grown up” time just the two of you. You need a lock on your bedroom door. You need to go on dates. Make sure you do all of this to keep the romance in your marriage alive.
4. Listen to him. If he has complaints about your marriage, or things that he isn’t happy with don’t just brush them under the carpet. It is easy for us to think that our worries and issues are the most important, and yet be completely dismissive of others. Make sure you pay attention to your husband when he wants to discuss problems. It may be simple things that you can fix easily and makes all the difference.
5. Be independent and happy. If your husband is acting as though he doesn’t love you anymore, it might be a good time to take a long hard look at yourself. Are you happy? Do you love yourself? It is hard to make others love us if we are constantly negative and down on ourselves. Learn what makes you happy, change the things that don’t, and you may see a dramatic improvement in your relationship too.