The secret to staying in love isn’t one that requires a complex understanding of human psychology, nor is it one that is complex enough to warrant apprehension. The secret is simply this: put the work in.
Love is not a static emotion. It needs time spent upon it to ensure it continues to thrive. You wouldn’t leave a potted plant to its own devices, would you? It’s the same with your relationship. It needs to be nurtured and cared for in order to thrive. So how exactly can you keep your love alive?
1. Be romantic.
Never let this one escape your list of priorities. Whether you’re male or female, please keep in mind that a little romantic gesture or two from time to time is something is necessary in your relationship. It doesn’t matter how long you have been together, it doesn’t matter that you think you’ve outgrown that sort of thing. A bunch of flowers, a surprise trip or other romantic gifts and events can help steer your relationship away from the road towards tedium and complacency, which can result in a falling out between you and your lover.
2. Bedroom fun.
In any guide or advice column you read regarding relationships, a healthy sex life always comes near the top of the list of tips for maintaining a loving situation. And there are many reasons for this. There are certain chemical reactions that promote a feeling of happiness and contentment that become associated with the other person involved. There is the physical feeling of closeness that can’t be achieved with any other activity. Stress and tensions that may be threatening the relationship otherwise are alleviated by sex. There is no doubt as to its importance at all, when it comes to the issue of staying in love. In practical terms, however, this means not only making love, but doing so, spontaneously and creatively. A regular Tuesday evening slot is unlikely to keep the flames of love burning, nor is a commitment to the same position time after time, with little or no foreplay, carried out in darkness. Shake things up a little, avoid routine, try new things and watch that love you both have become stronger and stronger.
3. Shape up.
A long term relationship is no excuse for letting things slide, and one of the reasons that half of a couple most often cites for playing away from home is that their partner, quite simply, has let him or herself go. And there really is no excuse for that. It’s a sign of respect for someone, if nothing else, that you want to make your best effort to look good for them, and being that handsome chap or radiant beauty that first caught their eye can only help to keep the flames alive. An easy tip to effect – just resist the urge to succumb to laziness when it comes to grooming.
Quite simple advice, keep giving it! Physical contact isn’t solely restricted to sexual activities and showing affection for your partner. Smile at each other. Hold hands. Sit really close together when you’re out. Give each other a massage. These little bursts of affection build up to form the foundation of love and intimacy, so don’t neglect them!
5. Make time.
Every loving relationship needs dedicated time in order to get the most from it. This is what’s often referred to as “quality time” that is spent purely enjoying the company of the person you are sharing it with and putting a bar on any interruptions or intrusions. This way, you can keep a track of each other’s lives, take note of any current issues, interests and changes, so that you’re able to respond better to each other’s needs. No matter how busy you are with work, with the kids or with your hobbies, always set aside a couple of hours to bask in each other’s company.
Again, kind of obvious, but it’s amazing how many people don’t do this. In a relationship, especially where people can change in their attitudes and outlook on life over a long period of time, it is important to keep abreast of those things that have gained or lost significance in your partner’s eyes. Nothing is more likely to douse the sparks than completely losing touch with the person you claim to adore.
7. Don’t nag.
Nagging seems almost like a harmless pastime for some couples, and it can be quite amusing when apparently done in a harmless manner – hence the vast number of heckling and nagging couples extant within comedy films and TV shows. However, too much nagging will almost certainly lead to a dissolution of the loving feelings, and can even lead to resentment. If there are things that annoy you about your partner’s behavior, try dealing with it through mature discussion at a point when you are both relaxed, to avoid the silly and pointless bickering that can otherwise occur.