Lower your expectations, just a little bit.
This doesn’t mean that you should lower your general expectations of him as a decent partner—it means that you should lower them when it comes to emotional matters. As your boyfriend, he should be there for you regardless of the issue. But if he’s short with words or doesn’t talk about his feelings much, you need to realize this may be a part of who he is. This is a key part of his personality that’s hard to change. It might get easier when the two of you put more mileage into the relationship, but it’ll never come naturally to him. If that’s a dealbreaker for you, that’s okay. But, expecting things to be different or trying to get him to change will end up leaving you more hurt than ever.
Try to figure out the best way to get through to him.
Communication is a tricky subject, and even couples who have known each other forever can have big issues when it comes to being on the same page. Figure out the best way to get through to him so that it might not seem as serious. He may shut down the second he feels like he needs to tap into his emotions, so being more casual and perhaps bringing things up in small doses will relieve some pressure.
Find a good friend to confide in.
You need an outlet for some of your emotions, and what better choice than your best friend? It’s not the same, but it’ll help you navigate your feelings with someone who, while not directly in the relationship, has your back and likely knows what you’re going through. It’s also important to maintain good friendships when dating someone new, so it’ll double as a good opportunity to grab a coffee together and catch up.
Consider couples counseling.
It might seem drastic, but counseling is a great way to maintain any relationship, even one that’s typically good. It might be a good avenue if you see the relationship having a future. If he agrees to see a counselor with you, it means he’s willing to find healthier ways to meet your emotional needs. Plus, he could be closed off for a reason he doesn’t even recognize, and a professional might help him navigate through those feelings.
Remember, this is tough for him. It’s quite easy to assume the worst if someone won’t sit down with you and talk about their feelings, but the issue likely doesn’t stem from you. Keep reminding yourself that it’s not your fault, and make sure you’re there for him if he’s looking to improve the way the two of you communicate about heavy stuff. And give yourself a pat on the back for being understanding.