Sometimes, we don’t always notice another person’s true colors until we’re in too deep. Sometimes these narcissists can be people we love like a close friend or a boyfriend/girlfriend. But you finally realized this person is what they’ve always been: a narcissist. And now you want to know how to beat a narcissist at their own game
But before we even get to how you defeat them *because you will defeat them* let’s just give ourselves a quick reminder of what a narcissist actually is. I’m not saying you don’t know what it is, but this word gets tossed around so much that sometimes the definition becomes blurry.
1. Know you can’t change them. This is the first thing to realize and fully accept. If you try to change a narcissist, you waste your time. First of all, you’re not a therapist. Secondly, this person doesn’t want to change. They’re in love with themselves. Have you ever tried to convince your friend that the person they’re in love with isn’t good for them? Yeah, exactly, it’s impossible.
2. Learn the traits. You need to know the traits of a narcissist well enough to identify them in the person you want to beat. Now, everyone, including narcissists are different. Therefore, they expose different traits from one another. Typically, narcissists lack empathy, use fear to control others, cannot admit faults, have negative reactions to criticism and exploit others.
3. Do not reveal your emotions. Narcissists feed off of the information of others. They use information about you to get into your mind, create fear, and manipulate you. So, before you spill your heart out to them, revealing all your deepest, darkest secrets, don’t. The only thing they do is gather information about you and figure out ways to exploit it for personal gain.
4. Detach yourself from them. Listen, as much as you don’t want to admit it, you’re attached to them. It’s nothing to blame yourself for. They’re very charming people, so it’s easy to fall for them. But now accept that you’re attached to them and detach yourself from them. Use emotional-detachment to stop the manipulation of a narcissist.
5. Cut contact. It’s not going to be easy. They will keep you in their grasp for as long as they need you. Thus, if you cut contact before they used you completely, they’ll try every trick in the book to get you to stay. But cut contact, it’s that simple. Cut all the ties. Remove them from all social media and refrain from replying to any of their advances for attention.
6. If you can’t leave them, learn to handle them. In some instances, you won’t be able to just drop them out of your life. Maybe it’s a family member or a co-worker. If this is the case, help them by developing their empathy. This means refraining from criticizing them. Instead, encouraging them to feel compassion helps them reduce their narcissism.
7. Be gentle. I know this sounds weird, but act in a gentle and kind way towards a narcissist if unable to cut ties. Remember, narcissists aren’t necessarily horrible people, as many of them came from childhoods which didn’t provide support.
Allow them to feel the importance of relationships through kindness and love. However, this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be aware of their manipulative tactics they show along the way.