1. Do not text him. Your initial reaction to not hearing from him in a few days might be to reach out. But likely this is exactly what he wants. He wants to know you are thinking about him without him having to put in any effort at all. The same goes for tagging him in memes, Snapchatting, and everything else.
Don’t give in. I know how tempting it is. I spent years trying to be unghosted, but it never works. Plus why would you want to be with someone who can’t just speak up.
2. Do not dwell. This has nothing to do with you. I know it feels so personal, like a brutal rejection with no explanation. And if you have been talking for a while and getting close, it can feel like a slap in the face. But try not to dwell on the unanswered questions.
I have sat and wondered and wasted countless hours on these guys, when I could have been enjoying myself, and it is just not worth it. Guys who ghost have their own issues and they don’t concern you. He is the one missing out, not you. So you can be sad, but try not to overthink it. It will drive you nuts.
3. Do not lash out. As much as this guy doesn’t deserve your respect or kindness, two wrongs don’t make a right. So if he reaches out, as they all do eventually, don’t ignore him right back. That creates an endless cycle of ghosting. Revenge ghosting is petty and you are above that.
Instead, as Selena Gomez once said, “kill ’em with kindness.” You can be cordial and polite, just keep things professional and shut him down if he is out of bounds. If he reaches out at 3am, you have every right to ignore. But if you see him in person or he texts you as if nothing happened, confronting him won’t do any good.
Show him you are doing great and are not at all phased by his lack of compassion. If he continues to reach out kindly let him know you moved on while he was MIA.
4. Do not expect this from every guy. Yes, guys ghosting is nothing new. It is quite common, but you cannot let that get you down. No one ever said dating was easy. You just have to keep your head high and hope for the best. Yes, you might get ghosted again, but you have to try to not let it get to you.
The same way you go on a lot of job interviews or an actor goes on a lot of auditions and never hears back, you have to have a thick skin to survive in today’s dating landscape. I know it doesn’t seem fair, but you will find someone worthy of all you have to offer. And he will text you back.
If you go in expecting every guy to ghost, you won’t have a pleasant outcome. You won’t be invested or excited, you will be expecting the other shoe to drop and it will. There is a power in positive thinking.
5. Do not do the same thing. As I said, just because some guys ghost, it doesn’t mean all guys do. So do not treat all men how some men have treated you. Keep up with your childhood mantra of treating others how you want to be treated.
If you want respect in a relationship, you need to give it too. I know it sucks when it isn’t returned, but doing the same thing to someone else just puts you on the same level as the guy that stopped texting you. So try to remain the bigger person. And the next time you’re not interested in someone, let them know, nicely.