You know deep inside your heart and soul that you are over your ex. You have made peace with the past, and you are even in a new, happy, and fulfilling relationship. But sometimes, you can’t help but wonder why, in spite of the time that already passed, you still remember your ex.
Does it mean you want your ex back? Are you secretly still hoping for another chance? Do you miss the times you shared with your ex? In all honesty, probably not. But the mere fact that your ex crosses your mind should mean something, right?
Why do you still think about your ex?
Don’t jump to conclusions and think that keeping your ex in your mind means the universe is telling you to give it another shot. There are rational explanations that don’t entail trying to get back together with your ex.
1. You run in the same friendship circles. You both know the same group of people. It’s not uncommon that you and your ex have a lot of common friends. Sometimes, it is even through a common friend that couples meet. If this is the case, then you will come across your common friends in social media, and they might have status updates, photos, or tweets that would include your ex.
At that moment, you would be reminded of the past. It is normal and it doesn’t mean that you still have feelings for your ex. It just so happens that there are still people who mention your ex, thus making you think about your past together.
2. “I used to order this dish here.” This was what my ex used to order every day! Do you find yourself remembering how many times you have eaten in this particular restaurant with your ex? Do you find your mind wandering into the past? Do you remember which dishes tasted the best and which ones you hated? It is all about the experience that you had with your ex in the restaurants that you have eaten in, especially if it was their favorite.
This is actually pretty normal. Remembering something your ex used to like doesn’t mean you’re still hung up on them. It just so happened that you recalled a fond memory of eating something with your ex, hence the flood of memories.
3. “I was here almost a year ago.” With the ex. And now that you are back in the same place, you kind of had a flashback of what you did here with them. It’s okay for anyone to have flashbacks, especially if you have been to the same place several times and you’ve actually enjoyed your time there.
Call it déjà vu. You may have been in the same spot with your ex before, but now you’re in the same spot with the person you’re currently with. Your mind just associates the place with a memory, and that’s why your mind gravitated towards thoughts of your ex. Just keep in mind that you made memories in this place before, but you can make new ones with the one you’re now with.
4. You still see your ex everywhere. It’s impossible to see someone you know and not think about them to some extent. If you see your ex in your favorite deli or at your neighborhood dentist, you can’t just push thoughts of them to the back of your mind.
Thinking about your ex is one thing. But thinking of them and how awesome it used to be and how great you were together is a whole different thing. If it’s just a passing thought that went through your head when you ran into your ex, think nothing of it. Your brain is just telling you that, yes, you used to date, but no, that doesn’t mean you want to date them again.
5. The social media generation. It is both a blessing and a curse that social media is this generation’s bible. First of all, you get to be connected with everyone and have updates about anyone, anywhere in the world. So when your ex posts something, you’re bound to see it, and to some extent, you think about what that post might mean to your ex.
This is almost the same as seeing a friend’s post and wondering what that post could mean to your friend. For all intents and purposes, as soon as you get over your ex, he or she is just another friend on your list, and nothing more. Thoughts about them bear the same weight as any other post from people on your list.