Looking back, most of us should be jumping for joy knowing that we didn’t have to stay with the first love that walked into our young lives. Bad hair, bad manners, bad in bed. Ick! However, those in the throes of their first love get heartsick at the thought that they might not end up lifers with their high school sweetheart.
The Fault in our Stars writer and nerdfighter John Green was once quoted as saying you never feel as purely or as much as you do when you are a teenager. Why? As teens, we’re finally starting to come into ourselves as individuals and our hormones and thoughts are running wild. Your first love is passionate, intense, and hard to get over. Part of this reason is because we are loving something that is ours alone, and we are loving it intensely for the first time. This can cause us to look back at a first love with rose-colored glasses, simply because those teenage years shaped our perceptions on what it means to love and be loved.
Still holding on to the idea that your teenage love will be the one that will stand the test of time? Here are 3 compelling reasons why you shouldn’t rely on teenage love to last you a lifetime.
1. Hormones, cheating, and high school drama. If you were to gather a group of 100 people, and ask how many had their first experience being cheating on in high school, nearly all of them would raise their hands. As “parental” as it sounds, as a teenager you have hormones coming out from every orifice, making your emotions and sexual control harder to handle than when you’re an adult. What’s more, that first sting of betrayal will stay with you and shape how you handle relationships in the future.
High school is also filled with teenage drama: sexual issues, fickle minds, friends liking your mate, jealousy, bullying, experimentation with drugs and alcohol, depression, lying, and partying. These things combined don’t make for a healthy environment for a romantic relationship. Likely by the end of high school, you’ll be over the drama and ready to move on to a grown up relationship.
2. On-off relationships will tire you out. While it may seem like magic to get back together with your ex in high school, you’ll soon grow out of this phase and realize how tiresome it is to continually resuscitate a relationship that has already been broken a handful of times before.
Not only does this get annoying, it’s already incredibly unhealthy for your mental state, breeding trust issues and creating an eventual disinterest or distaste for your mate. Unfortunately, on-off relationships are practically born in the high school breeding ground.
3. Your wants and needs mature. The more you’ve grown, the more you realize your high school boyfriend is kind of a jerk. Okay, maybe he isn’t, but the point is that people change, and who you are at the beginning, middle and end of high school will likely not reflect who you are now. With this emotional growth and experience in dating different girls or guys in your high school, you’re already starting to find out what you really want in a partner.
This is a healthy growing process, which will lead you to date more in the future. While it sounds shallow to say that staying with one person will stunt your maturity, in some ways it will. Dating different people allows you to see what qualities you need, and which ones you won’t put up with in the future.